When the sky turned black,
you folded these plastic bags
into stars, diamonds.
For Obaachan
27.11.09
15.11.09
Trimming (poem)
Junipers needed trimming.
Overshadowed the bugs that eat the bougainvillea,
sea-glitter birdseed on the pavement, that
house behind my parents' house.
Overshadowed the bugs that eat the bougainvillea,
sea-glitter birdseed on the pavement, that
house behind my parents' house.
5.11.09
Discipleship and scholarship
What does it mean to be a Christian college student? Can we be Christians and scholars at the same time?
This morning, Mark Carter preached from the Beatitudes in Luke. At one point, he paraphrased them for us Loma scholars, saying something like, "Blessed are you who struggle for academic excellence, for you shall learn truth."
That surprised me. So God appreciates my studying how aldehydes become carboxylic acids? All the hours I've spent reading about past participles or the theatre of the absurd or Sonny's blues were, in God's eyes, good?
In high school, I worked hard on homework, but I didn't think doing homework or studying aligned with my faith. I thought academics prevented me from doing more important things, like reading the Bible or evangelizing. Yet I studied, reasoning that in so doing I was rendering to Caesar what belonged to Caesar (or at least keeping mom from getting mad at me).
Then came Point Loma. One of the reasons I wanted to come to Point Loma was because an admissions brochure said something like, "Here we encourage you to study because in so doing, you obey the command to love God with all of your mind." The idea that studying was to be valued--in fact, that it was a way to love God--intrigued me.
During the covenant service at NSO, Dr. Brower validated studying, saying, "Your desks can become altars where your studying becomes an act of worship to God." Normally, when I think of worshiping God, I think of students in chapel listening to the electric guitar solo in "From the Inside Out." And then I think of singing other good songs to God, and even our life together, sharing a meal or listening to one another. But I hadn't before thought that worship could include studying.
How is studying a form of worship? Well, what is worship? I think worship is offering all of ourselves--our fears, our pains, our joys, our thanksgiving, our resources, our talents, our shared life--to God. And in studying, we offer our time, our energy, our efforts in order to learn and grow.
I suppose people can study without thinking that they are offering themselves to God. But they are still using the gifts and capacities God gave them, and I think there's something good in that. And no matter who we are, in studying, we are changed. A couple years ago in chapel, Dr. Kelle said that by studying, we develop the discipline of listening to the text, to the other, and thus we grow in our ability to love others. So perhaps studying is about worship because it is about discipleship.
As Christians, we are disciples, or learners, of Christ. Perhaps being college students can help us become Christ students. Perhaps staying up until 4 am studying for a calculus exam with a friend can teach us about perseverance and trying our best--and how it's a lot more fun when you're with a friend. Maybe discovering a new idea while we're writing an essay can teach us how adventurous it can be to listen for God's voice. Maybe feeling frustrated because I can't comprehend chemistry can help me be empathetic and patient towards other people who are frustrated in other areas of life.
I hope, at our university, we can be more frequently be encouraged to study--not just for the sake of getting good grades or graduating, but for the sake of studying, and for the sake of growing. If we're in college only to get a diploma, then we haven't fully developed into what we could be: students of God's creation, learning in awe about God's world and all its complexity, beauty, and depth. Disciples who keep learning and growing even after we graduate.
But then come the questions. Is studying chemistry, or any topic, a priority in the kingdom? Is it valued in the kingdom? Isn't it more important to be feeding the hungry, welcoming the stranger, and visiting those in prison? Might studying distract us from loving God and loving our neighbor, from doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God? Can studying become an idol we worship, rather than an act of worship to God?
I hope that studying is an act of worship to God, but I'm still slightly afraid that there are more important, perhaps practical, things to be doing with my time. And I'm afraid that if I come up with an answer too soon, I won't fully grasp the balance between study and practice.
This morning, Mark Carter preached from the Beatitudes in Luke. At one point, he paraphrased them for us Loma scholars, saying something like, "Blessed are you who struggle for academic excellence, for you shall learn truth."
That surprised me. So God appreciates my studying how aldehydes become carboxylic acids? All the hours I've spent reading about past participles or the theatre of the absurd or Sonny's blues were, in God's eyes, good?
In high school, I worked hard on homework, but I didn't think doing homework or studying aligned with my faith. I thought academics prevented me from doing more important things, like reading the Bible or evangelizing. Yet I studied, reasoning that in so doing I was rendering to Caesar what belonged to Caesar (or at least keeping mom from getting mad at me).
Then came Point Loma. One of the reasons I wanted to come to Point Loma was because an admissions brochure said something like, "Here we encourage you to study because in so doing, you obey the command to love God with all of your mind." The idea that studying was to be valued--in fact, that it was a way to love God--intrigued me.
During the covenant service at NSO, Dr. Brower validated studying, saying, "Your desks can become altars where your studying becomes an act of worship to God." Normally, when I think of worshiping God, I think of students in chapel listening to the electric guitar solo in "From the Inside Out." And then I think of singing other good songs to God, and even our life together, sharing a meal or listening to one another. But I hadn't before thought that worship could include studying.
How is studying a form of worship? Well, what is worship? I think worship is offering all of ourselves--our fears, our pains, our joys, our thanksgiving, our resources, our talents, our shared life--to God. And in studying, we offer our time, our energy, our efforts in order to learn and grow.
I suppose people can study without thinking that they are offering themselves to God. But they are still using the gifts and capacities God gave them, and I think there's something good in that. And no matter who we are, in studying, we are changed. A couple years ago in chapel, Dr. Kelle said that by studying, we develop the discipline of listening to the text, to the other, and thus we grow in our ability to love others. So perhaps studying is about worship because it is about discipleship.
As Christians, we are disciples, or learners, of Christ. Perhaps being college students can help us become Christ students. Perhaps staying up until 4 am studying for a calculus exam with a friend can teach us about perseverance and trying our best--and how it's a lot more fun when you're with a friend. Maybe discovering a new idea while we're writing an essay can teach us how adventurous it can be to listen for God's voice. Maybe feeling frustrated because I can't comprehend chemistry can help me be empathetic and patient towards other people who are frustrated in other areas of life.
I hope, at our university, we can be more frequently be encouraged to study--not just for the sake of getting good grades or graduating, but for the sake of studying, and for the sake of growing. If we're in college only to get a diploma, then we haven't fully developed into what we could be: students of God's creation, learning in awe about God's world and all its complexity, beauty, and depth. Disciples who keep learning and growing even after we graduate.
But then come the questions. Is studying chemistry, or any topic, a priority in the kingdom? Is it valued in the kingdom? Isn't it more important to be feeding the hungry, welcoming the stranger, and visiting those in prison? Might studying distract us from loving God and loving our neighbor, from doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God? Can studying become an idol we worship, rather than an act of worship to God?
I hope that studying is an act of worship to God, but I'm still slightly afraid that there are more important, perhaps practical, things to be doing with my time. And I'm afraid that if I come up with an answer too soon, I won't fully grasp the balance between study and practice.
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