The belltower sun chimed from behind my head
through horizon lines of window blinds,
bubbling dry paint on my concrete nose
and leveling my desert legs,
a morning mural on my glassy feet.
28.8.09
25.8.09
"Enjoy the journey"
Today was the first day of my senior year, and probably my last day of rehearsing with Voices in Praise Gospel Choir. After the rehearsal tonight, and after the crew and I loaded the Rec Room wagon with the speaker, the black metal stands, the rubber cables, and the disassembled microphone held together by crinkled blue tape, and after we prayed with choir director Dr. Bogan, I told Dr. Bogan I couldn't stay in the choir.
"I want to stay," I said, "but there are some things that--yeah." I don't know why I didn't complete the thought and tell her my main reason of leaving, that I wanted to free up time for other things I'm committed to. But she understood.
"We know you are very busy, and that there is other work God has for you this year," she said. "So we release you to have the time to do those things."
Not only was I relieved that she wasn't mad at me for leaving; Dr. Bogan's words also encouraged me. God has work for me to do? And I'm making the right decision in leaving Gospel Choir to do that work? When I'm encouraged, the future becomes full of hope.
Dr. Bogan has given me much courage over the last three years. The first week of my freshman year, I went into her office to figure out my schedule and consider a major, since she is the academic advisor for undeclared students. She may have recommended a major, but even more, she gave me the confidence to trust in God during my time at PLNU.
"Look at Joseph, in the Bible," she said, explaining how Joseph's life had so many interruptions and sharp turns, but God ended up having a good plan for Joseph. She said God had a good end for me, too, and that I didn't need to worry about making a wrong decision. "It's the ending that counts, and God will bring you where he wants you to be. Don't worry about how you get there. What I want you to remember is to enjoy the journey."
I still need to remember that.
When I remember my three years at PLNU so far, the classes I've had, the rooms and passageways I've discovered, the people I've loved and who've loved me, I am amazed at such an overflowing gift. Sometimes, I don't know what to do with the rich experience of being a PLNU student. Sometimes, I feel like I shouldn't appreciate the experience because I don't deserve it.
Maybe I need to learn how to receive gifts, even extravagant ones that I think can't possibly be from God. Maybe God works in ways beyond our ways. Maybe God thinks thoughts beyond our thoughts. Maybe he wants me to be here. I have enjoyed this journey, this adventure, so much.
"I want to stay," I said, "but there are some things that--yeah." I don't know why I didn't complete the thought and tell her my main reason of leaving, that I wanted to free up time for other things I'm committed to. But she understood.
"We know you are very busy, and that there is other work God has for you this year," she said. "So we release you to have the time to do those things."
Not only was I relieved that she wasn't mad at me for leaving; Dr. Bogan's words also encouraged me. God has work for me to do? And I'm making the right decision in leaving Gospel Choir to do that work? When I'm encouraged, the future becomes full of hope.
Dr. Bogan has given me much courage over the last three years. The first week of my freshman year, I went into her office to figure out my schedule and consider a major, since she is the academic advisor for undeclared students. She may have recommended a major, but even more, she gave me the confidence to trust in God during my time at PLNU.
"Look at Joseph, in the Bible," she said, explaining how Joseph's life had so many interruptions and sharp turns, but God ended up having a good plan for Joseph. She said God had a good end for me, too, and that I didn't need to worry about making a wrong decision. "It's the ending that counts, and God will bring you where he wants you to be. Don't worry about how you get there. What I want you to remember is to enjoy the journey."
I still need to remember that.
When I remember my three years at PLNU so far, the classes I've had, the rooms and passageways I've discovered, the people I've loved and who've loved me, I am amazed at such an overflowing gift. Sometimes, I don't know what to do with the rich experience of being a PLNU student. Sometimes, I feel like I shouldn't appreciate the experience because I don't deserve it.
Maybe I need to learn how to receive gifts, even extravagant ones that I think can't possibly be from God. Maybe God works in ways beyond our ways. Maybe God thinks thoughts beyond our thoughts. Maybe he wants me to be here. I have enjoyed this journey, this adventure, so much.
2.8.09
Six years
Just when the jacaranda began to bloom,
the lavender flowers are now all blown away.
Next summer.
Next summer.
the lavender flowers are now all blown away.
Next summer.
Next summer.
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